An Inspector Calls...

In the Dordogne there are apparently more than 8800 lakes and the Department have now decided they need to do a census in order that they can be 'regularised'.  This week we received notification that it was our little lake's turn to be inspected and the Inspector duly arrived, complete with clipboard and a sidekick. Firstly, we answered a series of quickfire questions about what we used the lake for, where the overflow pipe was and if there were any buildings and/or people below that might be swamped should the dam give way.  Then the sidekick measured the dam with one of those measuring wheels on a stick, which must have been languishing in some school caretaker's cupboard for years and was in serious need of a drop of oil.  He squeaked his way across before confirming that the length of the dam was 50metres, which was corroborated by the Inspector's swanky up-to-the-minute satelite image of same.  After that, we had a bit of a chat about mushroom availability and le Rugby before they pootled off to their next appointment, Lake no. 8799 or thereabouts. Nice work if you can get it!

Fancy doing your own inspection of the lake at Woodsman's cabin?  It's so lovely here in the early Autumn Splendour.

It had to happen one day....

It had to happen one day.  Fisherman's cabin has received a bad review....

Dear Di & Bob, Well, what can I say except never again!

Miriam and I were promised a get-away haven with everything we might need but spending several hours hunting about the place I still haven't found a TV, Hi-fi, Wi-fi, dishwasher or even a microwave for heaven's sake! (so that was a waste of £100's worth of pre-packaged 'Taste the Difference' meals) It didn't dawn on me until I was shivering under a blanket that the central heating was never going to come on because there was none and that Miriam and I were going to be reduced to chopping our own wood (well, Miriam was going to be reduced, to be precise, as I have minor back complaints...)

We were also promised that we would be close to 'Mother Nature' who I assumed was some sort of home help who would take care of cleaning, microwaving of meals etc; but needless to say she never materialised and Miriam has had to do everything herself.

To be frank, the amount if wildlife crawling around the place is terrifying. One could hardly move without being growled at by a frog or set upon by gangs of lizards. Listening to the horrific squawks and gurgles of these hideous creatures meant that I hardly got a wink of sleep (and I know Miriam didn't as she bravely volunteered to stay up night after night armed only with a bread knife and keep watch in case anything tried to break in.) I've made a list of some of the 'things' that we spotted circling the cabin. You might want to look out for:

Day five was a real downer. I sent Miriam out on the raft to try and catch a fish so that we could at least eat. Imagine my surprise and displeasure when she was pulled from the raft by a six foot pike! I watched closely for an hour but she failed to surface so I can only assume the worst. I painfully realised that her chores would have to be taken over by yours truly (unless bloody Mother Nature decides to put in an appearance and starts pulling her weight!)

Anyway, am too cold and miserable to write anymore....I have decided to try to make it to the main road on foot in the hope of finding help. Not sure I'll make it as the track is rather long and my back's playing up again...All I can say is thanks Di & Bob, thanks a lot

The pen then just trails off the page.  Oh well, you can't win 'em all!
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